TAOISM: Shit happens.
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
CATHOLOCISM: Shit happens because you deserve it.
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to somebody else.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us?
ATHEIST: I don’t believe his shit
ZEN-BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says: „Shit happens“
AGNOSTICS: Facts happen
EVANGELISTS: Send me $8 million or shit will happen to you
CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS: Only good shit happens
JEHOVA’S WITTNESSES: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens
SHINTOISM: Shit happens spiritually and naturally